The Best Thing I've Ever Written

Greetings, boys, girls, and Gagas!

Today I had to hand in my final portfolio for poetry class, which included a brand new poem that my Professor will read for the first time, only one time. This is what I wrote, and I must say I am rather proud of it:



Silence.

I got high when I first saw you, right away I started panickin’,
Then everything was silent. My heart froze like a mannequin

And I became your plastic flesh, wearing all your outfits.
I succumbed to your abuse. I became your Auschwitz.

But I was never anguished, living by your rule.
I lived for that desire, I ached to be your tool!

But you could never have it… breathing my every breath.
Having me was Heaven, loving me was death.

Killing me was golden, that’s what you told your ladies…
And even though I never sinned, I’ll still wait for you in Hades.

My Sestina Poem For My Poetry Final

For those who don't know, a sestina is a type of poem where you have six six-line stanzas, where the end words are repeated in a certain order in each one... and the seventh stanza is 3 lines, with those words being in the middle and end of the line in a certain order as well. Well, here is the one I wrote:

Vandals

I saw our names in aged graffiti –
Faded feelings, watered bricks.
They’re scratched away but last forever –
Engraved like colorful memories.
And people say we are vandals,
That’s just the word out on the street…

It was not a dirty street,
But they want to cover our graffiti.
Wouldn’t that make them the vandals?
Wouldn’t they be throwing bricks?
Whatever anybody does, we still have our memories
Even without any colors, our spot is set forever.

Yes, we’ll bring these walls to life forever!
Parading anguish down the street,
Our pain will live on in our memories,
Our fanfare felt in that graffiti –
Our colors instilled in those bricks
Because we bleed the blood of vandals.

This Petri love we share – like vandals –
May grow up tarnished and be loathed; then forever
We’ll be stuck, laying down bricks
Upon Heaven’s street.
And God will draw his own graffiti,
Become a part of our memories…

Hate will define our memories.
Like the apple and the first two vandals
We’ll be kicked out for our graffiti –
Like They paid by living scared forever,
For losing faith upon God’s street…
God carried a cross, we carry bricks.

I’ve never held such heavy bricks.
We’ve never had such memories.
We’ve never crawled upon God’s street,
But in our dreams we have been vandals:
Knocked down walls put up to last forever,
And tore down our very own graffiti.

This is our street, we are the vandals
We’ll build bricks like memories
And we will die some day, forever. Faded names in graffiti.

Letting the creative juices flow... (How gay and sexual does that sound?)

I am under the impression that the Switchfoot song "I Dare You To Move" was written after a long game of chess between the singer and someone else. They were probably stuck in a stalemate for a long time, one of the two slowly pondering his next move before the other shouted out "I dare you to move!" Yes. That's definitely what happened.

While I'm in the writing mood, I'd also like to talk about something that's been on my mind for at least two weeks now, because I hear it everywhere I go.... Christmas carols. They're everywhere! It doesn't help I work at a clothing store, but still... They should create a law that makes it illegal to play Christmas songs on the radio any earlier than two weeks before Christmas and up to New Years. Otherwise, by Christmas everyone is sick of them (or at least I am... and that's all that matters). Alright, in reality carols are not that big a deal, but people should at least change it up once in a while, and create new ones. I know The Killers did a Christmas song a few years back that was good and much different from the classics. No Doubt's version of Oi To The World is also a great one. What I REALLY have a problem with, however, is the lyrics in all these songs. Oi To The World is creative, funny, Christmasy and awesome. It's about an Indian boy named Haji who gets beat up by skinhead Trevor at a bar and they chase each other around and at the end they hug it out (Bitch?) and have drinks at the pub together. Classic. Isn't that what Christmas is really about? (Tongue-in-cheek, all you by-the-book people out there). That's creative. What bothers me is why (as I've already mentioned on Facebook) we sing slaying songs on Christmas? And we have fun slaying people?!?! "How fun it is to ride and sing a slaying song tonight!" So we're not slaying people, just singing about it! And we're riding a winter roller coaster or something while we do it? It's crazy.

Furthermore, what in the bloody Hell is a jingle horse? I have never been able to figure that out. "Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet." First of all, if a horse (and I'm basing this point on the assumption that a jingle horse is, in fact, either a breed of - or something very similar to - a typical equine) picks up its feet, then wouldn't it just lie there in the snow, uselessly. I mean, yes, it will theoretically float for the tiniest fraction of millisecond, but after that all four legs would hit the ground and the jingle horse's knees would probably snap or something... Alright, and now let's work on the assumption that a jingle horse is actually a horse with jingles on it. With that in mind, the lyrics still do not make any sense. If a person is wearing clothes, you do not call him a clothes person. What idiot wrote this?... Stupid lyricist, could have made a lot more sense if they lyrics were "giddy-up, horse-with-bells, run really fast... riding around the block." (or however that line goes). Ridiculous.

But wait, there's more! You'd think people were bad enough, singing slaying songs, but no... that's not enough. They also have to sing about whores. "Oh what fun it is to ride on a one whore-soaping sleigh." Not only are they "riding a whore" (if that's what we call it nowadays), but the whore is covered in soap! ...or at least the sleigh the whore is on is covered in soap. Makes no sense. This is what the kids listen to today? No thank you. Here's a real Christmas song:

Oi To The World.

Genius lyrics... originally by The Vandals, popularized by No Doubt.
This is the best Christmas song you'll ever hear.... (for those who don't know, Oi is a form of punk rock meant to unify skinheads and punks and everyone...)



Haji was a punk just like any other boy
And he never had no trouble till he started up his Oi band
Safe in the garage or singing in the tub
Till Haji went too far and he plugged in at the pub

'Twas a cold Christmas eve when Trevor and the skins
Popped in for a pint and to nick a bag of crisps
Trevor liked the music but not the Unity
He unwound Haji's turban and he knocked him to his knees

If God came down on Christmas Day
I know exactly what He'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punks and Oi to the skins
and Oi to the world and everybody wins!"

Haji was a bloody mess, he ran out through the crowd
he said "we'll meet again we are bloody yet unbowed"
Trevor called his bluff and told him where to meet
Christmas day on the roof down at 20 Oxford street

If God came down on Christmas Day
I know exactly what He'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punks and Oi to the skins
and Oi to the world and everybody wins!"

On the roof with the nun chucks Trevor broke a lot of bones
But Haji had a sword like the guy in Indiana Jones

Police sirens wailing, a bloody dying man
Haji was alone and abandoned by his band
Trevor was there fading and still so full of hate
When the skins left him there and went down the fire escape
Oi! Oi!

But then Haji saw the north star shining more than ever
So he made a tourniquet from his turban saving Trevor
They rappelled down the roof with the rest of the turban
and went back to the pub where they bought each other bourbon

If God came down on Christmas Day
I know exactly what He'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punks and Oi to the skins
and Oi to the world and everybody wins!"

Olsen Twins (AKA I know way too much about Full House)

What ever happened to the Olsen Twins? I mean really! They were the hype! They were awesome in Full House, where they became stars, and then they had like 5 awesome movies and then once they turned 16 - nothing. I know MaryKate became anorexic or something, but just because she's skinny does that mean she disappeared completely (I know she does when she turns sideways, but seriously!). They should do like a Full House remake or something... Something along the lines of "All Grown Up," the Rugrats remake where they're all older. That'd be awesome! And in the Full House remake they actually have both twins appear instead of just one at a time! Ha! And Bob Saget should be the same Bob Saget that is portrayed in Entourage... the crazy, cracked-out sex addict. John Stamos would still be the same badass John Stamos... Uncle Joey (come on, anyone seriously know/care about his real name?) is probably 60 by now, but he'd be the same funny, cross-eyed dude. Jodi Sweetin became some alcoholic, and they could feature that in the new version. Candace Cameron went from fat teen-aged DJ to the hot blond wife of Russian NHL player Valeri Bure. He could make some great cameos. They don't really need to include the weird neighbor, Kimmy. No one cares about her. She was pretty useless and annoying. I think that pretty much covers it. Anyway, all I'm really trying to say is I want to know what the heck happened to the Olsen Twins?