So, I always complain about the stupid people in my classes who are 20 or more years of age and still do not know how to read, write, spell, be useful or anything, and how I hate them... Well, I think even less of dumb old ladies who can't walk at a normal pace in front of me. It just so happens that the day after I was assigned to do a free verse poem for class that I encountered such a lady on my way to school. My professor encourages us to use real-life situations and to show our true emotion. Here are my results:
Dear Old Lady
Dear Old Lady,
Hurry the hell UP!
Get out of my way with that coffee cup in your hand,
taking your sweet-ass time
walking to the train –
The same one I’m trying to catch,
but I can’t get around your slow, fat ass
rumbling through the rush hour pedestrian traffic
And it’s right there!
The fucking train is RIGHT there!
And you can tell I’m trying to maneuver around you
so you slow down even fucking more,
almost spill your coffee on some stranger
walking the other way at a normal pace.
And I’m so damn close behind you
I can smell your Old Lady smell,
sixty years of rotting, useless flesh.
Like spoiled milk.
Rotten eggs.
Any other old, stale, repulsive dairy product.
It emanates from your Godforsaken pores
like sweaty pheromones.
But no one likes you anyway, so what’s a pheromone to you?
And where the hell are you off to anyway, moving at a snails pace
When you have nowhere to go to but the grave…
Dear Old Lady,
the subway door just closed on my hand.
I hope someone throws you off at the next stop.
Dear Old Lady,
Screw you.
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